The Idea behind Praying

We Indians are very superstitious. Most of us never pray during the good times but always remember to pay homage to the unknown, unseen force when we know that we can only bank on luck now and if there is one entity that can control our luck...it is 'The Almighty' .It is 'divine intervention' that we hope for when we are faced with fear and uncertainty (like the day before semester results are out). What i am going to talk about is why do those, who believe in sparing a few minutes a day to pray stick to this routine for years together , how does it help us and why some of us who usually do not pray tend to get weak and pray only when we do not know what to do.

I would say it is more like exercising the mind for a few minutes and building that sense of belief that what ever i am going to do today is going to turn out right and rewarding in some way. As opposed to believing in an entity or divine intervention it is more of a way to get ones thoughts together so that his or her acts throughout that day are going to be along the right track and bear some fruit. Probably the idea of the existence of the unseen entity was formulated to instil a sense of fear in people so that no one ever skipped praying and thereby having a clear picture of what to achieve and how to achieve during the day.

Most people remember that they need to try to get their thoughts together when they are in trouble. They fall in trouble in the 1st place because they never found the time to get their thoughts together and think about what they wanted to do. So once things go wrong they again have no idea of what to do because they lack the practice required to get their act together and end up finding themselves in a soup. Once in a soup they know that the only way out is to send an SOS for divine intervention and hence they start praying.

Some of the most successful people today believe the work that they do is the karma by which their fate will be shaped and they dont pray. For them their work is equivalent to worshipping any entity and why not, after all,.. the moments that are needed in a day to gather ones thoughts , are moments that these people get while they are actually working and hence not a single thing distracts them. Just like when one is genuinely praying.

Therefore whether it is meditation or praying, it all boils down to getting our train of thought in line, achieving the coherence of thought for us to concentrate on whatever we do through out the day and get something useful out of it. So please continue to do, whatever you do, to make sure your day is rewarding but remember that it must be done a regular basis because just like everything else concerning us, we can improve our thought process to achieve the goals that we desire only with practice.

For those of you who believe that 'work is worship' are well on your way to doing the right things throughout the day (but only with respect to work). After all everything requires experience to be good.

Day of freedom

When I was a young boy I remember playing around a lot with this girl who was our neighbour. We had been living in the same house for 3 years while they had moved in about a year after we did and it did not take long before the two of us became inseparable.We were about the same age, went to the same school and almost everyday left in the morning at the same time with our respective Mothers. I cannot explain what it was that connected us, but i knew that she was the closest friend i had then. Her name was Shonali and i used to affectionately call her 'Shona'.

Describing her is another big challenge because on one hand you had her astonishing looks while on the other hand you had her tantrums, her silent treatment when it came to being angry with something other than myself and her ear splitting screams when the two of us had a fight. But all of this faded into thin air whenever she used to flash that smile of hers at me. With her moony eyes and the dimple on her left cheek whenever she smiled she looked magical .

Shona's mom was a very kind and caring lady too. Very often we used to play on weekends all along from morning till it was lunch time and her mother would always keep lunch ready for both of us inspite of the fact that i used to live a door away and i might very well go back home to have lunch n come back later . Usually at these times my mother would be shouting out my name asking me to come home for lunch and guess what, i used to shout back stating I would be having lunch only with Shona and will come back only after we are done building the Lego structures or after the n'th game of 'Monopoly' or endless games of 'hide and seek' around the house. Initially my mother had a serious problem (quite obviously) with me having lunch every weekend on both Saturday and Sunday but later she resigned to the fact that i would be sticking around with Shona as long as they were our neighbours. I always wished to stay back for dinner too but usually when i used to stay back beyond evening i used to be dragged back home. Shona's mother also put in a word in my favour to mom everytime i stuck around too long at their place saying 'they like playing with each other Nita, i'll take care and it is not a problem at all'. It is probably this very reason why i remember her as kind hearted and sweet, because every time she spoke out for me i got to spend more time with Shonali .

Ever since they had moved in we used to have a lovely time through out the day but as the evening set in and our fathers returned home all of that used to change. The problem was not with my father, because mostly
we used to go out somewhere after he was back home but at Shona's place it used to be different. Often when we returned from our evening out, i could hear Shona's father shouting his lungs out 'I work like a dog the whole day and when i come back home , this is the kind of dinner that i get ? . Why cant you learn to cook properly ? is it that difficult ? cant you even do that ? It is a pity you cannot earn money for the house but you can at least make life easier for me once i get back home !!' . Shona's mother was a housewife .On other days i could hear him shouting at Shona "Your teacher says you are a very weak student and you report card certifies it . You have been failing in maths ever since we have put you in this school. Is this why i am sending you to a private school so that you can waste my hard earned money ? Why do you spend all seven days a week playing with Vicky ? If you don't spend more time with your books i will put you in government school and you can do whatever you want to there . Is that what you want ? ". Shona used to reply back pretty fiercely and equally loud "I like playing with Vicky but i dont like Maths" and then i could to hear her getting slapped relentlesly in response to that. My blood used to boil but i was too young to interfere in another family's problems. I remember being more in a state of shock, staying dazed thinking how could someone raise their hand on someone like Shona in whose eyes one could see nothing but INNOCENSE !!. I never heard a response from Shona's mother when she was shouted at but she always came to Shona's rescue when Shona was at the receiving end, often while trying to protect Shona from the beatings she ended up taking the blows herself.

I had felt most hurt the day when Shona's dad was yelling at her mother after he was back form work stating "Your father could have easily bought us a car and a flat, we did not ask for dowry when i married you but your parents should have given something, then life would have been easier for us today. Or is it that you wanted us to ask , so that once we ended up asking , you could implicate us in a dowry case ?' There was a pause for a few seconds and then Shona's father's typical angry voice signifying hatred could be heard yelling "Now what the hell are you staring at me for, you think i am wrong or do you feel a sense of hatred towards me because i said so? answer me ? answer me god damned ? Wait i'll make you answer me" , what i heard next were a couple of slaps . "You think you can give me that stare and get away with it ? Speak up now ? common shoot ? Dont just give me that stare otherwise i will finish you tonight ". I heard Shona shouting out "Daddy please dont beat mommy" . Probably she even tried to go and stop him physically because the next thing i heard was the sound of shattering glass and then, Shona's cry of pain. It was one of those moments for me where something snaps within you , all the sound coming from everywhere around you becomes inaudible, the only sound that you hear is that of your own heart beating. I dont know what got into me, the next thing i remember was banging on Shona's wooden door shouting "Shona, are you fine? are you ok ? Please dont hurt her anymore". In the mean time my parents came out and were trying to drag me back into the house , while i was howling my lungs out in pain, for Shona because she was hurt, and that hurt me as well. "Shonaaa, why are you not answering? " a couple of more bangs on the door. My parents tried hard but i was reluctant to move from there, they knew i had become sentimental about her for  long time now. All of a sudden there was no more shouting from within and the door opened.

Shona's father gave all three of us a disgusted look, i spotted pieces of glass and drops of blood on the floor. Shona was not in the room, Shona's mother was nowhere to be seen either. Her father spoke out at that point "This is not a good time, please leave us alone". My parents took me back home and asked me not to think about it. But that was the most sleepless night i have ever had. The next morning Shona did not turn up for school, i told my mother that we should check if they are doing fine. Her father had left for office so there would be no problem if we met them. My mother agreed. Shona's mother greeted us in, there was a scar on the left of her lip. I think my mother felt it was best not to ask what happened and hence was mostly silent. When i asked about Shona, her mother directed me to her room . When i entered, i found her lying with her eyes open but with right hand completely bandaged and the corner of her lips were blue. I was...on the verge of tears but i managed to control it. When she saw me she smiled and i was happy that my presence made her feel better.

I skipped school that day , my mother understood that and did not push me. What i  learnt later was that while Shona was trying to protect her mother, she was brushed aside with a wave of her father's arm with such force that she hit the glass table top, in the centre of the room , it shattered and pieces of which had pierced her arm, and at the same time her face hit some hard , blunt part of the table which was the reason for the blood clot around her lip. I had heard Shona's father fight with his wife and daughter ever since they had moved into this house but that day was probably the last straw that broke the camels' back.

Within a couple of weeks from then Shona's mother filed for a divorce. At that point in time i did not know what a 'divorce' meant, i had heard about it but was witnessing it happen in front of my eyes for the first time. It did not take long for the court order to come , Shona and her mother had totally stopped talking to Shona's father , we were not playing any more and life was gloomy, for them because they were going through a tough time, for me because all i wanted.....was to spend time with Shona.

Within a few more weeks the day came when  Shona and her mother had to leave that house in order to move to her grandfather's house in Jaipur.  Their luggage was packed into the taxi which was at the gate , the taxi was waiting, my mother was telling Shona's mother that she could call anytime for any kind of help, while i was holding Shona's hand hoping her mother changed her mind, though i knew they leaving was the best thing for them at the moment. Finally her mother gave her a call saying "let's go beta, we are getting late for the flight". I kissed Shona on her cheek, her mother brushed the hair on my head gently and bid good bye to both my mother and myself at the same time.All this while i was holding Shona's hand,but when she started moving towards the taxi it was one of those moments from the movies when two lovers are getting separated not knowing when they would get to see each other next. I had my hands my stretched out holding hers,  and finally when our finger tips parted i was on the verge of tears. My mother put her arms around me, Shona moved into the taxi holding her mothers hand, looking back at me from time to time. We were standing at the gate next to the taxi, the taxi started and as it moved away from us she looked behind from the rear window and kept waving at me till i could no longer see her along the long straight road. She was gone, probably forever.

I was sad but i also realised it was important for them, because that day was their 'Day of Freedom'. I was reminded of all this because i just got a friend request from Shonali a while ago on facebook, it would be an out of the word experience getting in touch with her after so many years. I hope she is happy wherever she is today.