Friendship day

DING-DONG...

(after a gap of a few seconds the bell rings again)

DING-DONG...

Nikhil usually woke up at 11 am on a weekend morning. Today was a usual saturday

and as usual Nikhil was asleep , but unfortunately for him, there someone ringing his doorbell

at 9.00 am. He lived alone in his 1 bhk flat , hence if Nikhil was not moving then the door would not be moving open either.

DING-DONG...

Nikhil - "what the hell , itni subah kaun aya hai........sale, sone bhi nahi denge. why can they just stand in peace for a while after they ring the bell once. The society needs to get familiarised with the word 'patience' "(blabbers to himself  while getting out of bed)

Nikhil gets to the door droopy eyed. As soon as he opens the door, even before he could
notice the face of the person standing in front of him(this was because Nikhil had a habit of looking at people from bottom to top rather than from top to bottom,
some people are born wierd...cannot blame him), he heard a voice asking
"Are you Mr.Krishnakanth Rangachari Meenakshi Sundareshwaran"

Nikhil blinked at him in utter amazement for a few seconds, and immediately after that

looked at him again (bottom to top)...he usually figured out what to say when his bottom to top

glance was over(It as his 'buying time' technique). Nikhil asked "you came here asking for one guy or four ?"

Man said  - "No sir, just Mr.Krishnakanth Rangachari Meenakshi Sundareshwaran, 'oru' person"(oru means 'one' in tamil)

Nikhil - "'what' person !!?"(he had no idea about the Tamil Language)

Man - "one...one...single" (now gesturing with his index finger)

Nikhil - (gesturing with his middle finger)"one person ?"

Man - "ama sir('ama' means 'yes' in tamil), credit card payment..2 months...no payment"

Nikhil - (now smiling and getting a hang of the situation but still groggy) "So you are looking for
some dude whose name makes me fall back to sleep, who is single and has not payed his credit card dues for two months ?"

Man - "ama sir"

Nikhil - "i am Nikhil Kumar, no Mr. Krishna here" (he was about to shut the door when the man says)

Man - "ille ille(meaning 'no, no') , name Mr.Krishna no, name Mr.Krishnakanth Rangachari Meenakshi Sundareshwaran"

Nikhil - (a bit irritated)"that is what i am telling you, i am referring to the same person"

Man - "Address same sir"

Nikhil - (now even more irritated and shouting)"arre to main kya karun yaar, i came one month back and dont know
who was living here before that"

Man - (now it was the Man's turn to blink, aparently Nikhil had spoken so fast out of irritation mixing hindi with english that this guy did not have a clue as to what message was just conveyed to him) he says
"english teriade sir(meaning i dont now english)"

Nikhil - (now furious and not bothering if the man understood english or not)"have you come to collect the money or kick his a** ?"

Man - "english teriade sir"

Nikhil - "Do you understand hindi ?"

Man - "english teriade sir"

Nikhil - (realising what mistake he had just made)"hindi ati hai ?"

Man - "kunjum kunjum sir (meaning 'little little')"

Nikhil - "Now what is 'Kunjum kunjum' ?"

Man - (instead of understanding it as 'what is the meaning of little little' he understood Nikhil's question as 'do you know little little' , as if  Nikhil was confirming with him)
"ama sir"

Nikhil - (reacting by shutting his eyes, turning his face away from the guy, with the 'what do i do with this guy' kind of look )
"This man(gesturing to the name on the piece of paper that man was holding) does not live here"

Man - (now understanding what Nikhil said)"kiter gaiya yai (meaning 'where did the man go')?"

Nikhil - (slightly relaxed)"mujhe laga tumko hindi bhi samajh nahi ati"

Man - "toda toda yata yai"

Nikhil - (getting sick of the hindi he was being forced to hear)"hindi mat bol mere baap !!"

Man - (thinking Nikhil just mouthed a paternal abuse, talking in a loud but sqeaky voice)"AYE, kiska baap ?"
(in tamil land when they are angry they always start with an 'aye' on a loud voice heavy voice, most pick it up from movies)

Nikhil - (wondering where this conversation was going, and nearing frustration)"mera baap, mere bhai"

Man - "aatmi kiter yai (where is the man)?"

Nikhil - (now talking without thinking)"chala gaya hoga, flat change, bhag gaya...tumse"

Man - "kiter pag gaya yai ?"

Nikhil - (NOW LOOSING IT, but with a mild tone so that the man deos not take it
negetively as an abuse)"abe dhakkan, i dont know"

Man - (detemined to get information, speaking slowly as he had a long sentence in hindi in his mind now)
"kisko...........pata.............yai, ki..............wo.........kiter...........gaya......yai?"

Nikhil was now looking frantically from left to right, hoping commonsense prevails and checked him out from botton to top ,
as we know already that when faced a difficult situation our Nikhil cannot think what to do or say until his trademark glance is over.
In the mean time , before Nikhil could speak, the man said

Man - "AYE , kya dekta yai ?"

Nikhil - (now with his face red, immitating the mans' style)"abe kabutar, teri akalmandi 'dek ra yai' "

Man - "AYE, kya bolta yai ?"

Nikhil - (now cursing himself for ever taking up a job in this city and wondering why on earth did he even start a converstaion
in hindi in the 1st place, shouting)
"abe gadhe ki doooooooooo, how do i make you understand that i dont know"

It was one of those loud shouts that makes everything around go silent. Surprisingly, the man was smiling at Nikhil now.
Nikhil was growing crazy with every moment now. All of a sudden he could hear 2 guys laughing their guts out on the
stair case while coming to the floor Nikhil's flat was situated in . Within moments Nikhil was shocked to find his two friends
walking up the staircase onto his floor, they were Daddoo Singh and Laddoo Singh.

Nikhil - "tum log yahan kya kar rahe ho ?"

Daddoo and Laddoo  - (speaking in unison) "Tujhe Happy tarike se, happy friendship day wish karne aye hain meri jaan"

Nikhil now sensing, sending this Man to his door and literally driving him crazy could have been the handy work
of his mentally knocked out friends states

Nikhil - "Did you send this guy to my flat ?"

Daddoo and Laddoo  - (in unison) "hahahahahahaha"

Nikhil's suspicion was certified into being a fact by their reaction, and almost instantaniously noticing
the hanging left ear phone piece from the Man's ear and the microphone clipped to his shirt. They mst have been
hearing him speak to this Man and getting frustrated ,through a call while they were downstairs until he started shouting(because then
they would not need the ear phones anymore).Surprisingly the Man he had lost his already limited patience on, was still standing at the
same place where he stood when they had stopped conversing. Not even his smile had faded one bit. Probably his freaky friends had paid him off
to carry out the act. The mans' look made Nikhil all the more angry and impatient. He had to vent out his anger on someone now.

Nikhil - (now looking towards Daddoo and Laddoo who had been dancing to the tune of 'Shiela ki jawani' on one of their
phones ever since they had shown up)
"Abe salon, main tum dono ko chorunga nahi, al leh (turning towards Daddu and attempting to kick his back but missing),
tu bhi le (turning towards Laddoo and attempting to kick his back but missing too)" (missing because both moved out of the way
as part of their dance moves)

Daddoo and Laddoo - (being the freaky and irritating guys they were stated in unison)"i am too sexy for you, main tere hath na ani"

to that Nikhil could only smile and said "Happy friendship day, you SOB's"